Life, Death, and My Best Friend
by Charlotte A. Cavatica
Summary: A Mina and the Count 1-sentence fanfic. A tribute to the love and friendship between a young mortal girl and her ancient, vampiric best friend. Best read with a lack of skepticism and an open mind as to ages. Contains some vampy romance. Also,Igor.


Note: I don't own it. Plus, I aged Mina. Don't like it? Leave.

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_Comfort_

No matter how cruel or apathetic the kids at school were and no matter how little Lucy and Dad understood her, Mina knew that Vlad would always be there to wrap an arm around her and teach her something new to try and make things better.

_Kiss_

Her skin was always so hot that he felt burnt whenever she darted out to give him a quick peck, but when the heat radiated out over his skin, he felt the warmth of her affection in ways no one else could.

_Soft_

Vlad's coffin was lined with the highest quality of silk and was stuffed with feathers to the point of bursting, and Mina would frequently squish him into a corner of the box to share a nap, his shoulder her pillow and her body heat seeping into him.

_Pain_

Vlad had come from a long line of vampires and so had not received the bite, but he had heard that the pain was as unearthly as the creature the victim would become; when images of accidents, illnesses, and imminent, unyielding death flashed in his head, he wondered if he would be able to cause Mina such pain.

_Potatoes_

Despite all her attempts to the contrary, some of which he admitted were flattering in the amount of effort, supplies, and hours exhausted, he conclusively and eternally handed down his mandate: he would never, never like human food.

_Rain_

Rain always reminded her of being alone and of being laughed at, of never being offered a roof or an umbrella or even a friend to walk with, but she's decided that even if he's all in her head, she'd rather walk in a million rainstorms than lose him for others.

_Chocolate_

She tore open the packaging of the box left on her desk this Valentines day, expecting a fake love letter or a box of worms instead of chocolate; instead she found innocent marzipan, her favorite, and a sweet, anonymous note…Nick, meanwhile, could not unblushingly make eye contact with her for days.

_Happiness_

He had never imagined that the secret to happiness could be packaged up into one girl until she lashed herself to his legs so many years ago and kept a tight hold of him, not letting him escape the one thing he so secretly needed.

_Telephone_

Sometimes facts get distorted, in the incredibly large telephone-game of supernatural gossip, so when Count Vlad choked on his drink when the Creature From The Black Lagoon asked him when his marriage to his little werewolf friend was going to be announced, the vampire realized that he shouldn't have escorted her around the last party with his hand on her elbow.

_Ears_

Vlad claimed that he could always find Mina in a crowd because he knew her heartbeat, but Mina never understood why his hearing should be so good just because he had pointed ears; it wasn't until she was older that she realized that it had nothing to do with his ears at all.

_Name_

Mina had always been a bit jealous of Lucy's name, despite its bearer's silliness, because it was so feminine and popular, a name everybody knew and liked and had printed on key chains and things, while all Mina had to enjoy about her name was the fact that she had just been named "Mina" instead of the dreaded "Wilhelmina."

_Sensual_

There were times, especially when they went to soirees held by other members of the undead community, when she would stagger him by moving her cupped hand to lace her slim, small fingers in his without any acknowledgement of the sudden blossom of sensuality.

_Death_

Vlad loved being dead, and death had always been good to him: plenty to drink, a rapid-fire social life, a knowledgeable caretaker, all the opulence he could stand (and sometimes couldn't), and even time to catch up on the New Yorker.

_Sex_

He was never there when she woke in the middle of the night, her nightgown clinging to her body with sweat, her sheets tangled, and her mind racing with all that she had just experienced in her dreams; but she always checked for marks in the morning, just in case it hadn't been wishful thinking.

_Touch_

His hands were always icy cold and bony, the gnarled knuckles and long support bones poking pointedly from beneath his blue skin, the sharp claws more deadly than any mortal blade—but Mina never felt more safe than when her hand was engulfed by his.

_Weakness_

Even at nineteen, Vlad would willingly allow Mina to cling to his back for a vampire bat piggy-back ride; if there was one thing he couldn't resist, it was those big gray doe eyes batting at him.

_Tears_

In Vlad's presence, Mina had been in a vicious rage before, and Mina had been green with envy before, and most other times Mina seemed perfectly happy—she had somehow avoided having any cause to cry, and he swore that he would do all he could to keep it that way.

_Speed_

Igor was fast, but Vlad was faster; after kicking his servant soundly down the castle stairs, the vampire grumpily snatched back his diary with the undead equivalent of a blush.

_Wind_

The night wind teased Mina's hair out of its ponytail and played with little tendrils of it as she stared at the castle, head propped up in one hand, a smile of anticipation on her face.

_Freedom_

Igor's family had never known the sensation of freedom—for centuries they had served Vlad's family, never questioning their lot in life or what they would have otherwise been doing—so when the Count made the Mina-suggested offer of a day off, the hunchback nearly fainted.

_Life_

Mina loved life, and life had always been good to her: a loving family (…minus Lucy), a healthy body and forthright heart, and a comfortable situation; but she loved death for the friend it gave her.

_Jealousy_  
He found her at her desk, reading a small piece of paper with a heart on it, her pale face lit up in a blush…when she explained that it was an anonymous love letter, his undead belly flipped.

_Hands_

Mina's hands were very small and white, all soft skin with just the right amount of plumpness to fill them out to be lovely—Vlad loved to hold the little bundle of flesh and muscle in his own hand, feeling the pulse as if it were a little living creature he could not bear to eat.

_Taste_

Blood, Mina imagined, would probably taste like a penny, as Vlad always described the taste as "rich and coppery"; when Lucy caught her tasting one just to see, Mina instantly spat it out, but all the same…she found the taste wasn't half bad.

_Devotion_

There was something vaguely satisfying about Mina's morning routine and Nick's role in it—he would always be waiting there at the doors to snipe at her, as married to his craft of cruelty as any artisan is to their métier, somehow assuring her that he would always be there for her to pit her kindness against.

_Forever_

Mina had no conception of 'forever,' so she instead tried to think of how, even after she died and her bones turned to dust, Vlad would still be the same—and that was soothing, somehow.

_Blood_

He knew he was in love when he went to get her a band-aid instead of offering to lick the wound clean himself.

_Sickness_

As Vlad held his chin in his hands and stared at his coffin, he reflected on the fact that humans got sick from the tiniest little things—how did a few missed meals equate fainting and why hadn't anyone told him about this before?

_Melody_

Somewhere, in the depths of Vlad's castle, there was always a mournful violin playing a screechy, sad air; whenever Mina tried to convince him to take her to find the origin, he always changed the subject or evaded her, which in turn only aroused her curiosity further—whether or not this was his intention was unknown.

_Star_

For some reason, the stars never quite came out to be seen around Vlad's castle, so he always enjoyed the flight to Mina's, not only because he was about to see his best friend, but also because he got to bathe in a light as eternal as he.

_Home_

Mina didn't know where she felt more comfortable: deep in the slouchy bean-bag chair in her room in the house she grew up in, or in the massive living room of the castle, stretched out on her back before the green fire.

_Confusion_

"It's a tampon," she said, and he spat out his drink.

_Fear_

Mina was nigh-unscareable—snakes, spiders, roaches, and mice were all played with like dear, dear friends; no dark hallway could daunt her, no amount of fake (or real) blood or hair-raising screaming could make her jump, which the Count found admirable but a little frustrating.

_Lightning/Thunder_

They met in a time of explosions, the splitting of the night and the roar of thunderous winds, a storm lashing against the world that stopped, somehow, the moment they saw one another; they healed wherever they went, without intending to, at all.

_Bonds_

Vlad seemed to misunderstand the concept of double-dutch; Mina didn't want to correct him, of course, because his admiration for the human race certainly jumped after he witnessed a demonstration of their "girl-nets."

_Market_

Mina seriously considered entering the Miss Teenage Swimsuit contest until she realized that she would have to invite the Count to the ceremony, and that…could get yucky.

_Technology_

Watching the redhead pound away on a series of keys, her expression more serious than he had ever seen, Vlad recognized a certain level of absurdity at staring at a glowing screen for hours on end.

_Gift_

He had enough miscellaneous artifacts, grotesque and beautiful words of art, and incredible pieces of heirloom jewelry to entice any young debutante to cast an interested eye, but the only gift Mina seemed to want is a lifetime with him and the occasional hug.

_Smile_

Vlad's smile always managed to look predatory while Mina's always managed to look somewhat mindlessly cheerful—only they understood the secret language of their faces, that Vlad was just excited to have cause to smile and Mina was just untouched by the deepening effects of sorrow.

_Innocence_

Martha never quite understood how Mina could be so oblivious to all of the creepy stuff that happened around her; the cheerful girl just impressed one as being completely immune to suspicion and prejudice.

_Completion_

"It lives!" Vlad cackled, feeling as if a good night's work had just been done.

_Clouds_

The clouds around and above the castle were always red, green, brown, blue, or grey, which always intrigued Mina— she didn't know that Vlad was of the opinion that white clouds were completely blasé and routinely aired out his chemical experiments to get a more satisfying hue.

_Sky_

On summer afternoons, Mina would stretch out on the grass and lie in one place for hours, waiting for the sun to dip down behind the hills of her community, anticipating the coming night as eagerly as any child awaiting Christmas morning.

_Heaven_

It had occurred to Vlad once or twice to ask some of his ghost colleagues about the Hereafter, but he never quite got around to doing it—after all, they probably didn't know, and what good would it do him?

_Hell_

Mina was always a little nervous around any imps or demons of Vlad's acquaintance, which shamed her—usually, they were as nice as could be, but she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable around people who liked nothing more than hurting other people, forever.

_Sun_

Mina liked to frolic in the sunlight, letting it gleam off her hair and dazzle her eyes until she saw red circles whenever she closed her eyes, basking in the warmth, carefree and happy.

_Moon_

Vlad sat out on a lounge chair on the flat top of one of his towers one summer night, a reflecting sheet in his hands as he moonbathed; when Mina first saw him, she laughed but stripped down to her almost omnipresent swimsuit and joined him.

_Waves_

They were wandering in the woods one night when the Count stopped short, rooted to the spot where he stood, staring in horror at the river ahead of him; it took them four hours to find an alternate route to the Scary Queen that didn't involve crossing over moving water.

_Hair_

He'd run his claws through her hair on the few occasions when she fell asleep over the course of their adventures, enjoying the softness and loveliness of her red hair in his hands—Mina would later tell him that she'd never, ever fallen asleep around him, and ask him to brush her hair.

_Supernova_

"A star died a hundred thousand years ago and we just found out tonight," Lucy told Mina in a know-it-all, unsentimental voice; Mina didn't mention that her 'violin teacher' had been dead nearly as long, and _they_ still didn't know.

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A/N: My first non-Jervis/Alice piece under this name. Mina and the Count was an Oh Yeah, Cartoons! series that ran fice episodes and was cancelled. This timeless story of friendship between a seven year old girl and a seven hundred year old vampire warmed my heart and set me up for unrealistic expectations of friendship. Obviously, I took a liberty or two with this.

Mina and the Count can still be viewed on Youtube. Failing that, I can send MP3s to the deprived who drop me a line. Email's in the profile.


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